Open Even More

Open Even More

We fall down.  We stand up.  We fall down again.  We stand up again. 

 

We emerge.  Battle weary.  Skinned knees.  Fresh scars.  Bruised and tender.  Fist raised in triumph.  Glitter in our eyes. 

 

This rapid evolutionary pace is ours now.  There is no slowing down or jumping off the train.  If you signed up for this, it’s ON.  The opportunities to really look at your life are coming all the time. 

 

It can feel totally overwhelming to look at the truth of what you have created.  The truth of your relationships.  The truth of your happiness.  The truth of your finances.  The truth of your spirit.  The truth of your body.  The truth of what you actually want to be doing with your limited time on Earth. 

 

The first day of Summer arrived with a giant Full Moon on June 20th.  I was in the desert in Joshua Tree amidst the rocks that feel like ancient trolls, watching beautiful souls breathe deeply into their lives while the moon rose to shine on them.  The moon and the sun at the peak of their energy was like a huge spotlight, shining on the illusions, delusions, and fantasy that make our foundations shaky when we are blind to them. 

Read More

It's Getting Scarier to Stay Stuck Than Change

It's Getting Scarier to Stay Stuck Than Change

There is a kinetic feeling in the air-a little ungrounded, a little dangerous, a little chaotic.  I can feel it swirling around in the personality of the weather, the political wackiness, the act of violence in Orlando and inside myself. 

 

What we see out in the world is a magnified reflection of our internal experience.  Things continue to come to a head as the old ways no longer work.  Every previously buried, taboo, icky thing is being shoved out of the closet into the light. 

 

We can’t ignore what we don’t like if we want to grow.  We can’t avoid what makes us uncomfortable or what we don’t understand.  It is much easier to create separation and distance from us and them but we are them and they are us.  When you see the characters in the news, you are viewing the distorted boardwalk drawing caricatures of pieces of our internal shadow. 

 

When we have lessons to learn in life, the Universe approaches us with a feather.  It gently strokes us and whispers, “Hey my love, this is something you might want to pay attention to.”  If we avert our eyes long enough, the feather turns into a hammer and the voice turns into a shout. 

 

We can’t afford to be blind or apathetic or tired anymore.  There is too much at stake.  We are poised to leap, growing tired of standing at the cliff’s edge just looking at the pretty view and dreaming of better, different days. 

Read More

The High Cost of Blocking Your Expression

The High Cost of Blocking Your Expression

I’m with my Breathwork family on a training retreat this week in the beautiful Sandia Crest Mountains.  I’m wildly enjoying having a huge break from my technology but I wanted to send a little message about something I learned this week that felt important for me and maybe for you too. 

 

I made a promise to my teacher and myself before our New Year’s Eve retreat that I would sing a song for the group….and I didn’t.  I was too afraid and while I probably needed a few more lessons to feel comfortable, it still felt like an excuse.  The whole weekend became a really painful battle between not being too hard on myself and feeling like I was really letting myself down.

 

Part of my identity is being someone who is true to their word and who doesn’t back away when something is scary.  Not doing what I said I was going to felt like a self-betrayal.  I felt a lot of grief and a lot of guilt that weekend from not showing up for myself.  It really impacted my enjoyment of the weekend as I carried the tension of wanting to sing, but continuing to block my expression with fear and feeling bad about it. 

 

To be clear, I’ve always identified more as a shower singer, a quiet under the breath in the car with other people singer, a majorly off key but enthusiastic Happy Birthday song singer.  But I was not someone who was comfortable in the least singing in front of other people.

 

Read More