We fall down. We stand up. We fall down again. We stand up again.
We emerge. Battle weary. Skinned knees. Fresh scars. Bruised and tender. Fist raised in triumph. Glitter in our eyes.
This rapid evolutionary pace is ours now. There is no slowing down or jumping off the train. If you signed up for this, it’s ON. The opportunities to really look at your life are coming all the time.
It can feel totally overwhelming to look at the truth of what you have created. The truth of your relationships. The truth of your happiness. The truth of your finances. The truth of your spirit. The truth of your body. The truth of what you actually want to be doing with your limited time on Earth.
The first day of Summer arrived with a giant Full Moon on June 20th. I was in the desert in Joshua Tree amidst the rocks that feel like ancient trolls, watching beautiful souls breathe deeply into their lives while the moon rose to shine on them. The moon and the sun at the peak of their energy was like a huge spotlight, shining on the illusions, delusions, and fantasy that make our foundations shaky when we are blind to them.
It can be wildly frightening to have something illuminated that forces you to self examine. Most people avoid doing it because they are afraid of what they will find. I had a very big mirror held up to me over the past couple of weeks that showed me some pieces of self that I was rejecting and denying and some places that were overripe for opening and enjoying.
It was very uncomfortable. Soul growing pains are a real thing.
My heart and my body opened even bigger than I could have ever imagined. In order to really meet my life and my path half way, I had to get even more vulnerable. I discovered there was even more honesty, more risk, more assertion of my needs, and more standing with the truth of who I am.
Last night in Breathwork, I had such intense physical pain in my heart. I could feel it breaking and crumbling as the old foundations that held it together had to come apart. It felt like my heart was being dynamited and rebuilt to hold more in about the span of five minutes.
My desires have become fierce and the deep wanting that has been cloaked in patience is boiling over. It is unnerving to exist with such unmasked love but I can already feel the ease and peace in it. Not everybody is able to receive love. Not everyone is able to receive passion and fervor and intensity. They will accept only so much and then push back. They will beckon you close and then shut down when they reach their limit. Your work is your work and their work is theirs. It's not personal. We are all working with our own thresholds with love, healing, and individuation work.
Just keep opening. And if there are no channels in the form of people to open to just yet, or it doesn’t feel safe, Open to Yourself. Even more.
It hurts too much to withhold love, stay quiet when you want to speak, keep your hands to yourself when you want to touch, keep your face straight when you want to gaze and smile and maybe smolder. We are far too soft and far too tender to play these roles where we act like we don't care, it didn't hurt, it's "fine". We are all walking around as these giant hearts on sleeves.
Be that. Unmask. Unshield.
Put down your weapons of apathy and cool and fear and self-protection.
We are crossing a point in our evolution where it is unsustainable to be guarded. We all need to care a LOT more and let it be known to the people that matter to us and to everyone really. We won't get through this world upheaval without love. Keep your heart open, your gaze strong and your words real and true.
I cringe at sounding like a Hallmark card. I am a practical spiritual person. I don’t exist in the land of rainbows and unicorns…and yet I kind of do.
Because Love is the solution. It always is and always has been. More love, more kindness and more gentleness. It will feel good to you and it will feel good to them and it will make this ride of life a little softer.
If you’ve got it to give, give it. Be generous with your love. Let it flow freely from Source out into the world. It’s a give and take energetic exchange with the Universe and you will receive it back in boatloads of grace and abundance.