I did a Death Meditation Wednesday night with the dark of the Moon. I lit some candles and spent some time being led through the last twelve hours of my life. I wrote down all my regrets, all the things I wished I’d said to people, what’s holding me back, what I’m imprisoned by, the lies I tell myself, what needs to die, my last words to my loved ones, and what matters to me.
Heavy, yes. Intense, yes. Cried buckets, yes.
Just what I needed…absolutely. I allowed that death energy to move through me and my life to clear the debris and the old patterning and all the places I was still stuck. You let things die for new things to have space to come in.
We are closing out a nine-year cycle with the ending of 2016. This was a year of completion and loose ends and closure. That’s why it’s been pushing you so much. When life is asking you to wrap something up and you continue to fight it, it’s going to feel pretty bad. Life lessons come at you with a whisper and a feather touch and they amp up to a shout and a hammer if you’re on your tenth opportunity to learn it.
Next year is a One Year in numerology. A One is a new beginning and a clean slate. There is a lot of magic available with a new year because we have a collective agreement that this is a fresh start.
We know that when the page turns over to 2017 that we’ll have a cosmic do over. But how your year goes is up to you. It’s also up to the Universe but your job is meeting it half way with inspired action. Your world only changes when you change. When you change your boundaries, your relationship with yourself, the way you relate to other people, how much space you allow yourself to take in the world, how much you can receive.
The arbitrary move from one year to the next doesn't mean much when you lug all your baggage across the finish line.
Taking an inventory of your life is a huge act of self-love. Finding clarity on what you want in your life is a kindness you don’t want to deny yourself. If you don’t gift yourself the time to think about what you desire, there’s no path to get there, there’s no arrow to shoot and there is a slim to none chance you will find your way there.
You can call them resolutions or goals or intentions or core desired feelings or upgrades. Whatever you do, just pick a couple points of light to direct your attention to next year. Even if you have to begin with what you absolutely know you don’t want, start there. Even if you know that you just want to experience more joy and less anxiety, start there. But I would love for you to aim high and really ask for what you want because WHY NOT? We only have one life that we are going to experience in this body and you are worth it. You are worth paying attention to. You are worth healing. You are worth loving. You are worth having experiences that light you up and remind you how good life can be. Surprises and triumphs and creative flares and smiles from strangers and lucky breaks and comfort in your own body and mind.
I’m weird. I go toward discomfort a lot of the time. I’ve learned that the more I walk toward what is uncomfortable, the bigger rewards I get. I like to challenge myself because it builds my self trust and my confidence. This is coming from a woman who read books in the bathroom until 3rd grade during recess because she didn’t know she was an empath and other kids were overwhelming. Right now, I’m headed to an NYE retreat with 40 people and zero privacy to walk on fire for the second time. People can change.
You can truly do just about anything in this life. It takes a No Plan B attitude, a giant heart and a ton of faith. If I can do it, you can do it. I wish you all the beautiful things for your new year. I wish you astonishingly simple moments of great peace, wonder, curiosity, hope, adventure, love and great fun. I hope when you look back on the end of 2017, you will smile because you let yourself be the Hero and the lead role in your own life.