I was subject to a really nasty conversation last week that left me feeling baffled, slimed by that person, and unable to stop replaying the verbal jabs in my mind. We’ve all argued with people before. Sometimes you can keep it clean. Sometimes the right combination of people, emotional triggers, fatigue, fear, and wounds can make things get very heightened.
In any emotionally charged interaction, whether it’s with a family member, a partner, a child, or a customer service rep, it can be very difficult to shake the residual feelings once it is over. If you’ve reached peaceful resolution, it’s much easier to walk away “clean.” If it’s an ‘agree to disagree’ situation or ‘we’ll pick this up later’, it can feel almost impossible to shake the feelings that were stirred by the conversation.
This is because when you have a heightened emotional experience with someone, you are exchanging energy and some of it can get stuck in your field by way of energetic cords. We have seven energy centers (or chakras) in our body and when we connect with people, they can “cord in” to us or vice versa. In this way, our energy fields can become muddied and unclear.
Our energy is best for us and other people’s energy is best for them. When they leave a bit of themselves with us through interaction, it can create confusion and a feeling of being off kilter for us. We may even be replaying conversations that we don’t want to replay because they are unable to let go and are obsessing about it even though we don’t want to!
It may sound a little wacky but I’m going to teach you a simple exercise that you can do to unhook those energetic cords. This will help you clean up your energetic space and gently return everyone else’s energy back to them. You can use this exercise after any kind of emotionally heightened encounter with anyone-a breakup, a family discussion, a loss, a separation, a bad date, you name it!
Begin by placing both of your feet flat on the ground. Feel the bones of your pelvis settle and ground into the chair. I like to visualize tree roots growing from the soles of my feet all the way into the center of the earth. Alternately, you can visualize a grounding cord that extends from the base of your spine into the center of the Earth. You want to feel grounded and present to be able to sense what’s going on in your body.
Take a look at the picture I’ve included of where our chakras are if you are not familiar with them. The 1st is at the base of the spine, 2nd is two inches below the belly button, 3rd at the solar plexus, 4th at the heart, 5th at the throat, 6th between the eyebrows and 7th at the crown of the head. Scan your body to see if you feel any tightness or constraint or density at any of those chakras. It’s okay if you don’t feel anything. I clear all the chakras just to be on the safe side.
Beginning at the base of the spine, you will start to disconnect all cords. People can cord into your back body if they are thinking about you but you are not thinking of them. If you are both thinking of each other, the cords may be connected from the front. I find that my front cords are usually safe for me because they are my family and friends. My back cords are less clear relationships so I focus mainly on the back cords. I like to visualize these cords like plugs going into a socket in the wall (but in my body). You may have one cord per energy center or it may seem like many! Gently unhook each cord and allow the cord to retract to the person it belongs to. You don’t have to identify whom the cord belongs to, just allow it and it’s energy to return to that person.
As you clear each cord or cords from each chakra moving up the spine, I like to visualize a Post-it that I place over each chakra. This is an energetic note you leave so that the next time some one tries to get into your space, they see it. Mine usually say “Please only contact me when you feel able to be energetically responsible and kind.” You can make up your own wording depending on the situation.
When you have finished with clearing all seven chakras, take some deep breaths and see how you feel. This exercise can be done very quickly once you practice it a few times. I find that any repetitive thoughts that I might have been having about a conversation usually disappear and my mind has stopped latching onto the charge.
Have fun with this and let me know how it goes!