When I was 10 years old, it was decided that I was “gifted” and needed to go to a special school for smart kids. I very begrudgingly switched schools and spent the next two years playing chess, building weird containers out of straight pins and straws, and getting in trouble for doing reports on very scandalous Prince songs. This two-year period nurtured the rebellious and eccentric part of me and I am forever grateful for it.
The downside was that it convinced me that I was just naturally good at anything academic and didn’t need to try. My world came crashing down when I got to high school and almost failed Algebra 2. And when I starting getting C’s on my English compare and contrast essays.
See, I had this idea that because someone told me that I was smart that I would just be a natural and all things would come easily to me. It turned me into someone that would get very easily frustrated and give up if I didn’t “get it” right away-whether that was snowboarding, cooking a new dish, or trying to draw.
I had what they called a fixed mindset. This is a belief that who you are is just who you are. You can’t change or learn or grow or employ new tactics. A growth mindset is the opposite. It allows you to have a baseline of strengths but the belief that you can hone and nurture those strengths to even greater heights.
So how does this translate into your health and wellbeing? Well, we label ourselves all the time:
I’m just a bad sleeper.
I can’t meditate.
My digestion has always been awful.
I’m crazy around my period.
Anxiety and depression run in my family.
With a fixed mindset, these are all absolute 100% truths. There is no room for a different option. This is just Who You Are.
With a growth mindset, ANYTHING can change! Healing can happen on a cellular level. You will start saying no when you mean no. You can begin to form boundaries with family members that never felt possible. You can say what’s true for you-to anyone-even that scary friend! Sleep can happen. Weight loss can happen. A digestive revamp can happen.
Everything and all things are available. We are afraid of and resist change because it means that we will need to make different choices and take different action. When you change your way of being, you can get push back on the new you.
True transformation in any area of your life can only happen at the level of commitment that you have to wanting the change. When your mindset is aligned with growth, you know that every step forward is solidifying the foundation for a stronger, healthier-on-all-levels You! Sometimes you need to hit a breaking point in your health to be able to push back and say enough!
“I’m not going to be the peacekeeper anymore! I’m sick of trying to seek approval! I’m so tired of feeling anxious all the time! I’m so over what I’m choosing to put in my body!”
That is a beautiful point to get to because there is nowhere to go except toward a new option. All things are possible if you commit with your heart and soul and move steadily towards it. It doesn’t matter if those first steps are shaky and tentative. The point is that you take them!
Where are you holding on to a non-negotiable truth about yourself or your life? Do you believe that change is possible for you? I invite you to take a look at that finite thought and see if you can shake it up a little bit. If I had believed Ms. Ceteznik (my terrible high school English teacher) that I was a horrible writer...I would never have had the courage to try and write for you every week. To me, it's always practice and growth!
So, have some fun with this. Say no. Say yes. Act ‘out of character’ for yourself and see what happens.
Don’t forget: It’s your life.
Which means it’s your choice.
Go nuts Radiant Hearts!